William H.A. Willbond MSM, CD
KNOW THE SMELL, CAN’T RECOGNISE THE FACE…
when you cry…
no one sees your tears.
when you are in pain…
no one sees your hurt.
when you are worried…
no one sees your stress.
when you are happy…
no one sees your smile.
But FART!! Just ONE time…
and everybody in the 10 man arctic tent,
on both port and starboard jump sticks,
in the back of the APC,
or the entire section of your reserved seats
at the hockey arena
…… knows it!!
©Copyright October 3, 2003 by William H.A. Willbond MSM, CD
You fart, and the others hear it, and smell it, and they know you are the one who did it – that’s OVERT.
You fart, and the others hear it, and smell it, but they have absolutely no idea who did it – that’s COVERT.
You fart, and the others hear it, and smell it, and they think you did it, but they are not positive – that’s LOW VISIBILITY.
You fart, and the others don’t hear it or smell it; i.e. they don’t even know it happened – that’s CLANDESTINE.
You fart, and all the signs point to someone else having done it, or at least they don’t point to you – that’s PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY.
You plan to fart, and the others are going to hear it, and smell it, but you don’t look like the kind of guy who would do that in public – that’s COVER FOR STATUS.
You are going to fart, and the others are going to hear it, and smell it, but you don’t want them to hear it, so you cough at the same time as you fart – that’s COVER FOR ACTION.
You fart, and the others hear it and smell it, but you turn to your neighbour and say “My God, what have you done!?” – that’s TACTICAL DECEPTION.
You propose to fart, and you think the others should hear it and smell it, but you have to get someone to validate it – that’s OPERATIONAL REVIEW.
You want to fart, and you don’t care who hears it, or who smells it but the lawyers argue about who has to concur, authorize and approve it – that’s LEGAL REVIEW.
You want to fart, and you don’t know whether it’s better for others to hear it, or smell it, or both, so the intelligence weenies study the feasibility of it – that’s TECHNICAL REVIEW.
You plan on farting, but you delay to consider the potential of the effect of your fart on others in the room and how pissed off everyone will be at you – that’s RISK ASSESSMENT.
You mitigate the risk by moving over by an open door and farting outside –that’s RISK MANAGEMENT.
You fart and others hear it, smell it, and the TMO representative smells your butt to make sure you really did it AND that you didn’t eat the expensive chilli to cause it – that’s OVERSIGHT.
You’re going to fart, and you must know what course of action the others will take when they hear it and smell it, all based on your current seating arrangements – that’s a VULNERABILITY ASSESSMENT.
You’re going to fart, and you must know how much the others will hear and how much they will smell, so you check your butt placement, air currents, and your exact distance from the others within the surrounding area – that’s an OPSEC SURVEY.