MIND GAMES
It was an unrelenting conspiracy of the senses
swinging between overload and vacuum.
Some nights they swore they could hear Charlie breathe.
On others, they were so deafened by the artillery's roar
they heard only a constant ringing in both ears.
This was a place they could choke on dust
or the pungent smell of their own uniform
while their feet and bunkers were mired in mud.
Jungle canopies and overgrown hills rising into the clouds
held temperature extremes that both melted and froze them on the same day.
The term "ground" was relative and always came in unexpected layers;
from elephant grass that didn't look taller than them from above, but was
and the jungle so-called "floor" (that wasn't) with its invisible ankle-height trip wires
to the newly-cleared paths above unseen tunnels that snaked for miles
housing enemy troops and even their hospitals.
In his diary he wrote that he just knew he was going to die one night
when the enemy crept by only a knife's blade away.
To keep his teeth from chattering and expose him
he made a pact with God...and bit hard on his helmet strap.
He was absolutely ecstatic when morning came to the LZ
and he was still OK.
They were all OK.
But it was the sound of a chopper that confused him.
A dust-off? Had somebody been hit after all?
That's when he looked up, wiped his eyes and pointed,
...Angels!, he yelled to the guys. Angels in blue!
I guess two of us Donut Dollies in blue uniforms stepping off that chopper
did stand out against all that grey mud and dust.
It was, he later said,
... as if everything in the war changed from black and white...to color.
We were oblivious to his singular terror, just eager to help each connect with home...
Hey, How are ya? Where are ya from?
Philadelphia! came a shout from the center of a sandbagging pit.
I guessed aloud that it was more likely Conshohocken!
and to my surprise he confirmed the coincidence
coming full circle to the gas station
where I'd once stopped for fuel...and he'd worked.
We left them with rubber band hand games, remember?
Stretched over pinkie and thumb
the idea was to release it by moving the fingers on the same hand just so,
but it was their facial and body contortions that made us all laugh..
We were still laughing as our chopper lifted off for the next LZ and we waved goodbye.
Goodbye to where the war was fought and the nightmares began.
Hello to all those dear nicknamed and anonymous faces we saw
that still raise questions after all these years like...
Did that kid make it home OK to Conshohocken?