SOMETIMES I WONDER
There are times that I sit here in the darkness and think
Think of times past and times yet to come
Sometimes I frown and maybe even curse
As memories of others that caused pain and hurt;
Caused pain and hurt simply because of different beliefs;
They, in their righteous indignation, that their God is supreme
Then they feigned no knowledge of what they had done;
Completely ignorant that they had crushed the spirit of someone
Then I think of skunks and raccoons and horses and dogs
Skunks in smock pockets and raccoons at the table
Of butterflies in flight and dancing sprites in the night
Of a smile that would light up this dark desert night
I think of dark days of waiting for death and a tear falls
A tear falls for one who wanted only her children's lives
Her life for theirs, she thought it was right
The bearing of the greatest warriors on earth
Steeped in a quiet dignity of love and concern
No thoughts of herself would come from her heart
I think of children who are growing so fast
Of two little Angels who are of the dark past
Then I smile as I think of today, I smile and laugh
Laugh through the long day as I watch all of the children at play
I think of a love so strong that even death cannot break the bond
I see a man whose heart is shattered, his soul is torn
And yet he talks of his love and of the time that will come
The time when they shall again be together and will for all time
I watch as a Soldier, who is brave and true,
So many years he fought for me and for you.
He plays with the children and tells them of days of yore
He talks of brave warriors and Indian maidens
He talks of brave deeds in dark frightening places
Brave deeds done by warriors whose souls now live in those dark places
Of his own deeds he says not a word; just doing my job is all that is heard
In his room in a case on the wall, symbols of his bravery, of his brave deeds
His heart on his sleeve, I can see how he grieves
He grieves for his daughter though she was not of his blood
A kind and gentle man and yet one whom death well knows
He has walked the dark paths where only the devil knows
I hear laughter out in the yard, the sound of children enjoying the day
Thru the window, I see him at play, little girls and little boys all wanting to play.
I see on the porch the one of my heart, he smiles as he sees the children
Children of his; he shakes his head and smiles, two girls and two boys
In the yard there of three, two boys and one girl, she the oldest of the three
In the house asleep in her crib, the newest one smiles as she sleeps
So much darkness have we all been forced to endure, so much pain
Our past is dark and their is blood on the back trail
But now in the today the sun shines bright as does the moon at night
The future is unknown, it is not for us to see or know
I sit and wonder sometimes. Thoughts come and they go.
Some are sad and some are good, sometimes I just wonder;
Sometimes I just wonder and I wonder if I really should