THE ANGEL OF CRYSTAL CITY
It was dark and cold, a hint of rain
Monday morning, just past the witching hour
Standing alone in front of the Crystal City hotel
Smoking a cigarette, thinking, mourning
It had been a long November weekend
The others where in their rooms, sleeping
A long trip home awaits the morning sun
A good group of men, these Veterans
Once young warriors in a long ago war
Old now, many have lost their way, I included
We had gone to The Wall,
More than once in the last few days
Being my first time here, it had been rough
I stand now emotionally drained, exhausted
Too tired to sleep, but not to think
Feeling old and tired like never before
I stare down the empty, darkened street
Two streets converging to a point
The hotel sitting at this far end
Dark, massive, towering in the night
Elbows resting on a waist high brick wall
I spot a lone figure near the point, on the backside street
A footman heading my way, to pass behind the hotel
A stranger inside my perimeter
I watch him until he disappears behind the hotel's wall
What had I hoped for by coming here?
A miracle I suppose, a healing at least
An end to this emptiness, to come home at last
Now this pilgrimage was ending
But my pain had not stopped
At The Wall I had wept, uncontrollably
For the first time since I had come back
Freely, openly, unashamed,
Alone in my grief
Or at least I had thought I was alone
Strangers, a passerby, Tom, my roommate,
All touching my shoulder, placing gentle hands upon my back
Moving aside to give me space
Asking if I was all right
And I not seeing a single face through my tears
"What now Mike."
I asked myself.
"Where do you go from here?"
"Did you really think this trip could change you?"
"Did you really believe some miracle would take place?"
Movement from behind and to my right!
Somehow this footman had come up from behind, unnoticed!
And now he was beside me
I had walked his same route the night before
Fifteen minutes it had taken, he had done it in two
He was a young black man
And the way he was dressed troubled me
Dark green utilities, shirt and unbloused trousers
Just like the ones issued to me in '69
Black boots like I had worn, a green utility cap on his head
With a pack strapped to his back
He stepped out each leg as far as he could
In what we Marines had called a "route step"
Yet he seemed to make no sound at all
No click of boots on pavement, no rustling of clothes
I felt no fear, no sense of alarm
But I felt a chill as the hair rose on the back of my neck
His big brown eyes locked instantly on mine
Looking straight down into my soul
And spoke to me without breaking his stride
"Lost huh."
"Let the Lord find you."
It had not been a question
He had stated it as fact
As though he had known my every thought that night
Shocked, surprised, not knowing what to say
Like an idiot pretending as if not hearing what I just heard
I yelled, "What?" as he marched away
And without turning around or breaking stride
This messenger raised his left arm to give me a backward wave
Somewhat confused I turned towards the hotel doors
In the hope that some one had come out
So that I would have a witness to this scene
And finding no one I turned back to him
To find once more I was alone
It had all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye
Yet it was all so very real
And I not being a man of religion
Somehow just could not grasp
The miracle of it all
A simple question of faith is all it becomes
Was he a messenger sent by my God?
Or was he just some lonely young man
In the right place at the right time
Who just happened to know my soul?
Dressed in clothes we wore thirty years ago
With an old green pack on his back
Stating to me what no one could know
Making no sound as he moved on by
And my feeling of peacefulness as he passed
How many of us have witnessed a miracle?
Have seen it with our own eyes?
Yet have questioned our own good fortune, our faith?
Have refused to believe we could be so blessed?
Have discounted the simple truth?
What I have just told you is all true
You can believe it or not
As for me, this I know, after thirty long years
With this hole in my heart, of being lost and alone
I now know my way back home