Larry R. Southerland

LOST HOPE
(Another PTSD Poem)

I’ve lost all hope
I can no longer cope

I’d just like to die
But I’m afraid to try

I can’t stand it anymore
I have no one to care for

I’m all alone
Everyone I cared for is gone

With no one needing me to depend on
There is no reason to go on

It gets more unbearable every day
It does not even seem to help when I pray

I was always trying to make up for the atrocities I did in war
And this I can do no more

All I ever wanted to do was to others make life better and give it a meaning
I never knew I would do anything so demeaning

I know I often acted like a clown, to keep them from having a frown
All I know to say is, I’m sorry, to the ones I let down

Afraid of everything all my life
Now the thing I’m most afraid of, is life

I know death is near and it is the only thing in life I no longer fear
At least there is no one it will hurt that loved me dear

I just hope when I die, I can remember the good things I did and not the bad
As this would forever leave me sad