Charles Schwiderski

HERO

Hello my little Montagnard friend.
I was watching a movie last evening
that bought you back to me.

A moderator near the end of the
movie was talking about heroes. He
said generals and politicians and
regular people need heroes but not
regular soldiers like you and I were.
He said soldiers do not fight for
medals or to be heroes, but instead
for their buddies.

You were a true hero; you gave your
life to save a friend. I’m so sorry
that friend had to be me. I would
give anything that I had died for you
rather than you for me. If only I
could turn back the clock.

I wept for you or us last evening;
deep feelings flooded me as I
remembered those minutes from years
ago. I remember our laughing, our
horsing around like we were young kids,
our friendship. You were a true friend
and I miss you… so very much. I
remembered holding your body and the
deep pain I felt.

I have asked your forgiveness so many
times, I don’t know your response, but
knowing you, you laughed and said that
it was ok. I carry such guilt my friend
and I cannot put it down. Is that my
penance for what happened? If so, it is
not penance enough, nothing can be.

Forgive me my hero, my true friend.