CARRY ON!

Emotional? Hell yeah. Sparks were flying inside my head like fiery steel chips off a grinding wheel. I stood there for awhile with Tony and Al, my wife and my kids feeling kind of numb at the entrance to the Viet Nam Memorial Wall. My eyes darted from time to time towards the black granite for a stolen glimpse. People were everywhere, young and old, slowly passing by, staring in awe at the thousands of names upon this shrine.

Most were respectful some were not, mostly the teenage young who had no clue as to what this meant to us Vets who watched some of these other teenage boys fall in the heat of battle. There were no tears in these youths' eyes, just a slight irreverence that a swift kick in the balls would have cured. Then only for an instant would they begin to feel the pain we felt while taking our first steps towards the Wall.

While standing near the entrance it was as though other Vets were drawn to us. "Magnets of pain" I thought and eyes that reflected something different that only another veteran of Viet Nam could decipher. "Welcome Home," one brother said and, for the first time in over thirty years I felt like I WAS home. A young Marine came up to the group of us shook each of our hands and said "thank You", and my heart leaped. In thirty four years only two other complete strangers had said those words to me, inside my heart crumbled.

Nancy was standing there red eyed and tears flowing as this young Brother Marine walked away with his wife and small child. I knew in my heart that he would have done the same for me so that I could have the privilege of knowing the freedom and the joys of which only a family can bring. "Semper Fi" I squeaked out as he shook my hand and looked into my eyes... He replied "Semper Fi Marine", and I believed him.

Tony and I hooked arms and started walking the Wall. Al, who is also a Former Marine, Viet Nam Vet and the cousin of Ron Ralich was point man, my wife and daughter along with my Son-in-law brought up the rear. My legs felt like they were made of lead, each step heavier than the last.

As we walked my mind could not comprehend or possibly take in each and every name inscribed on the Wall. It was overwhelming and inside I was jelly though I tried my best not to show it. Lead feet, broken hearted and had a strong wind come up I would have been blown away.

Tony held on, we continued the march and before we knew it there was Al standing at the panel we were searching for. We all looked at each other and everyone around us faded away. An occasional voice would echo in but it was surreal. We searched for Ron's name on the panel; sixeyes searching high and low for my friend, a cousin, a mothers son, a brother, and with the help of an Aussie who was dedicated to put to rest the fears and anxiety of this Marine we searched the panel time and time again to no avail.

Was Ron invisible? It seemed as though he were. In desperation I counted the rows one by one. After what seemed to be a lifetime we found him. It was as though his name stood out from the rest and no others were surrounding it. I could hear his cocky voice saying, "'Bout time Marine. I'm in need of a pack of smokes, and where the hell have you been?"

I touched his name. Al stood there quietly, it was his third visit. Tony's eyes welled up with tears, Nancy and Kristy had tears in their eyes, I was lost in the sixties somewhere with Ron.

Tony made a rubbing for Al and me. I will frame it with his picture when I get home. Al had given me a disc earlier with some pictures of Ron in his childhood. I put the disc in as soon as I got home. There was one picture on this disc of Ron standing onboard ship with his back towards what I believe to be Naples, Italy looking young, vibrant and full of life. Standing tall and proud in his uniform, the uniform of a Marine who could have tackled hell with a squirt gun at that time and come out unscathed. The picture was taken with a Polaroid camera; one that I myself personally had taken so many years ago of Ron while on our Mediterranean cruise. I can't explain how this felt nor am I going to try to explain it. But, I have a feeling Ron was smiling down at me, saying, "This is how I want to be remembered, now carry on Marine, Carry on!"

I can carry on now my friend, until we meet again. Semper Fi my brother, Always...

©Copyright June 14, 2004 by Richard D. Preston