NONE FOR NANCY
I opened up the box
It said, please do not eat
I do not want to share
This is my season treat
It looked real good to me
Dare I take a taste?
Will she miss one tiny piece?
Maybe not, in all her haste
What is this thing of green?
There's red and yellow too
I'm not too sure right now
Hard objects in every chew
I'm choking on the nuts
I need to get a drink
My face is turning blue
I'm headed for the sink
No water from the tap
Could this be my fate?
Oh, help me Nancy dear
I choked on another date
I opened up the fridge
And there in front of me
The biggest jug of eggnog
That I had ever seen
Now stand back one and all
Or a fight you will surely see
I'm drinking it all down
It's cold and oh so sweet
I'm sorry there's none left
You should have warned us all
There should have been a sign
Written big and tall
The fruitcake belongs to me
It's not for the average bloke
If you do not heed my warning
You will choke, choke, choke