John-Ward Leighton

COFFEE AT THE VAG

should hardly seem to be a drag
now if i can get my fingers to spell
this silly poem
will turn out well

lunch with the great unwashed at the vag
hemmed in with squalling kids and old people feeble
hell is still the close presence
of all those other people

then hockey game was quite perverse
and people stepping on your feet was worse
usa 2 canada 1 to cap the day
the whole thing a mere acid belch away

five dollar ice cream on a stick
and he grinned at me the little prick
binoculars to watch the excellent game
and a good friend along to keep me sane

then home for a mighty ralph
kneeling in prayer before the porcelain bowl
listening to the hurled echo of a dry retch
wondering how much a video of this would fetch

and signed off with a thunderous fart
the stench enough to take your nose apart
piss and moan piss and moan
this poem is enough to make my old english teacher groan

that is the show for you to see
me in this human comedy
playing the usual garden variety fool
grinning starry eyed and dripping drool