HOW WILL THEY REMEMBER?
As the pains of old injuries dig into me
I ponder how will people remember me?
I think of my paternal grandfather
Died when I was two
A man I never knew
Ten years after his departure
Grandma snarled he was a damn drunk
Twenty years after his departure
"I'm ready to go be with him."
"The only man I ever loved."
Some days I wish something would happen
And it would be all over for me
A new pain free life in heaven
Life with 99 virgins in hell
At least my family's torment would end
Someone told me to think
Those left behind
How they would feel
Father would survive
He goes through
Expected ritual of caring
Only cares for himself
When step-mother moved out
Only complaint
No one to warm his bed
To satisfy his whim
To cook for him
I guess one less to beg from.
Mother would survive
She goes through
Expected ritual of caring
Lost in devotion and rescuing
Church three times a week
Prison ministry weekly
Help this person and that
I guess one less to rescue
Full Brother would survive
He's indifferent to everything
Since that fateful day in Iran
Lost his way found PCP and LSD
Navy dumped him "for the Good of the Navy"
They won't accept responsibility
Straight now but separated
Indifferent
Full Sister would survive
She'd never know
Lost in anger and vengeance
At war with herself
At war with everyone around her
The world owes her something
She'd loose a pain
The person who asks, "How are you?"
When running into her.
Baby Brother would survive
He's got his own problems
Framed for underage sex
Dumb at 19 plea bargained
Probation messing with him
Ex-girlfriend calling in false reports
Hardly thinks about me anyway.
Baby Sister would survive
Spiraling in an abusive relationship
One less to report
Injuries to her children
Middle Sister – there's a question.
She's the backbone of the family
Responsible for my finances
She's trying to help a friend
Unwilling to help herself
Needs to hit rock bottom
Won't as long as supported
One less responsibility
One million dollars wealthier
Nephews would survive
If or when they ask
"Where's uncle "
He's gone
All that's said
They'd go on.
Wife would survive
I'm the Devil incarnate
She'd celebrate
Daughter would survive
How do you mourn
A person you never knew?
The only one who'd suffer
Snoring right now over my shoulder
My little seven pound guardian
Her Royal Highness, Guardian Face
The Cat.
She's my only reason
Her and the lasting desire;
Moon the government
For what they did
And didn't do.