Colin F. Jones

THE BET
(A True Story)

It is interesting that some people never really listen to what is actually said.

I was in a pub some years ago having a beer with my brother who I was visiting. There was this bloke boasting about how fast he could run, so I chirped in and said, “I could race you on my knees mate, that’s how fast I reckon you are.”

He of course laughed so I offered to race him for $10, which he accepted. Our little group was situated at the far end of the bar, so the idea was that I would race him to the wall at the other end. So a path was cleared and I got down on my knees, and this bloke crouched into the running position. At the word, “GO!!” off he went full steam ahead down to the wall; I had moved maybe three feet when he got there.

On the way his foot clipped the leg of the chair of some bloke who was sitting at the bar guzzling a beer. The beer went flying as the bloke sat heavily onto the floor and, of course, everyone roared with laughter as he sat there in a daze not knowing what had happened.

Anyway, back came the runner, not even out of breath and demanded his $10. I said, “But I don’t owe you, $10, you own me $10.”

“Yeah how do you figure that, mate!!” said he, and he was bigger than me. “I left you for dead, and beat you by miles.”

“Well,” I said, “I did not say I would beat you - I said I could race you for $10, which I did, therefore you owe me $10.”

It actually took a lot of explaining as it turned out, and he was still giving me funny looks when I left the place.

Oh, the bloke who fell of his chair we bought him another beer, but he never did know what it was for.

©Copyright March 28, 2006 by Colin F. Jones