AN EMBARRASSING SANTA
I can see him.
He can not move.
He is stuck and his face bears agony.
His uniform is crimson.
His putrid body is unpleasant to look at.
He is beginning to free himself, grunting in the process.
A violent cough causes him to shudder.
I can't help but scream when he turns to me.
He lurches up to me and I freeze.
He is carrying something in his hand
And now he hands it to me.
As he does this, a bowling ball
covered in cotton drops from under his shirt.
I really do not see why my dad has to pretend
to be Santa Clause every year.
If he really wants to,
he should learn how to dress up properly.
For one thing, get pants that don't slip
as he has to hold them in place and
Substitute the bowling ball with something else
or wear nothing at all underneath that shirt.
And forget about coming out of the fireplace,
because there is no way you can not get stuck there.
And for God's sake give me a good present!
I hardly call giving me study material a present.
Being a poor student and having a tutor as a dad really sucks!