A RESPONSE…

Colin,

Such an experience you have told us. How sad too.

I was in a Nazarene school for Kindergarten and first grade. My first grade teacher was so mean. She knew I was allergic to milk, and always she made me take that milk and drink it, and every time, I threw up so many times and was told I was faking it. I felt she hated me, I was Indian; I was discriminated against for that. I remember trying so hard in math, and she kept telling me I was wrong, I even managed to cheat from the smartest girl in the class that aced that math, and I was still wrong. Such heartache I had at such a vulnerable age. I swore that if I ever was a teacher, I would never treat students like she did of me.

In third grade, I had a friend who had a very hard time with spelling. And the teacher had him up at her desk, and taunted him because he could not do spelling. He cried and cried, and it just broke my heart at such a young 8 year old age I was. I was enraged, and I swore then, if I ever was a teacher, I would never do that to a kid who couldn’t spell.

Now, I am a teacher, in my 23rd year as a special education teacher, that teaches a wide arrange of disabilities, grades k - 6, but certified to 12th grade. My heart goes out to all the kids I have, even though some recently are quite challenging because of their behaviors/or very emotionally disturbed. When I push my students a little more, and when I see them get teary eyed from frustration, I pull back and apologize. MY YES!!! I apologize so many times to my students, saying teachers make mistakes too, and to bear with me. Sometimes they understand, sometimes no.

One of my former students, age 17, had been expelled from high school for fighting. But he has taken the responsibility in finding a school that will take him (an alternative school) because he wants to finish high school; he wants his driver’s license. It was so lovely he came to talk to me, telling me these things because he has come from a rough life with an alcoholic-father-abusing-his-mom atmosphere and could just say goodbye to life. That made me feel good he came to me, and tell me these things, and for counsel and advice. Now, if I had been cruel to him and cared less, that kid probably would be in a worse off situation or not.

A few students I have taught still talk to me; one is 30 with her own family! I cannot believe it! But they always ask for advice and such, and we talk about their own children, and learning, and life in general.

Today, my much challenged student told me I am the best teacher in the whole school. I smiled, but I reminded him and the others, that I can be mean looking when I get mad or upset when they do something wrong. And they said, “But Mrs. Campos, you aren’t always like that; you try to teach us, and you tell it like it is.” And I said, “Yes, I guess, but remember that when you are really mad at me.”

Your writing brought many memories in my childhood to current time.
Thank you,

Melanie

©Copyright January 24, 2008 by MahTame (Melanie C. Campos)