Melanie C. Campos ~ MahTame
BATTLING THE SHAME
I’ve been ashamed for a very long time
Not wanting to say what happened to me
A little girl, age of three, sexually abused
lived till thirteen; years of incestual crime
The dirty deed undid the innocence mind
Physical and emotionally victimized as well
Survived two marriages of abusiveness kind
Thought it is the way life should be forever
The turmoil one lives within oneself engraved
Into the very soul of a little child, afraid to see
Who is that man and what is he looking at?
What does he want from a little ‘whore’, me?
‘Twas the thought for many years, having to
Relearn what was not right; seeing a reality
Tis never too late to have a happy childhood’
Is a motto I’ve lived by since a hospitalized event
Killing of self is not an option, maiming either
Drugs, alcohol, rebelliousness, bad choices too
Self hatred, self loathing, ugliness rules all over
What do you see when you look at me? ME?!?
Antidepressants for life, psychotherapy forever
Battles of self denial, self esteem, and hating self
A war I seek its end soon, no one deserves hell
No one, not you, not me, not boy, nor girl-NEVER!
©Copyright May 17, 2009 by Melanie C. Campos ~ MahTame
This poem is a response to “Ashamed to Say” ©Copyright May 17, 2009 by Sheila Williams ~ Singing Cloud