Danielle N. Calhoun
MY DAY ON CONCH BOULEVARD
I’ve come upon lovely sea foam colored house at the start of my journey to find the best and worst of all the houses in Atlantica, where Ariel and her family have just decided to have a party for all the cat fish in the neighborhood.
Two catfish are chasing each other across the ocean bottom as Ariel uses her four large rusty railroad spikes to place a pavilion at the center of Conch Blvd. No one seems to want to help this young lady so I swim up to her in my dinosaur of a clam jalopy.
I’m so glad you’re here!
Me, too, what can I do to help you, Princess
Ariel’s father comes up to us and says:
Move it along, little lady, the big guns are here.
Ariel and I watch as a massive wall of industrial sea sponge, which has come delivered in a sea crate, is lowered to make a wall for the catfish kittens to play in.
As we are watching this, the railroad spikes give way and everything is total chaos as a dogfish, chasing a small poodle puff swims by.
Ariel grabs the dogfish by the tail, and all is chaos when the mother of all catfish arrives on her humpback whale of a limo.
Everyone stops what they are doing to see this Persian beauty and all her litter come out.
Ariel stares in awe at the handsome tiger shark as he swims beside his lovely beauty.
A beautiful sight before them, no one notices until everything crumbles, signaling the beginning of the end for this affair.
Ariel and her father look to each other and the King says in a booming voice:
Everyone ducks for cover as the king raises his trident and says:
Of all the silly things, I mean, really, a cat fish party? Why couldn’t you throw a seahorse party?
Thus ends my day in Atlantica, where nothing is what it seems, and that beautiful house on the hill? Well, let’s just say that for all the clams in the world, nothing beats homespun charm.
©Copyright May 4, 2007 by Danielle N. Calhoun
(Freelance writer: Women’s Journal of Odd Undersea Affairs)