APOLOGY TO LIZ

I know I should apologize
My tirade of abuse
I know overstepped the line
There's really no excuse

To push a button just because
You know that it will ring
But I lost sight of what you said
All I felt was a sting

Perhaps it did not hurt as much
As what I said to you
I know I put a type of spin
That really isn't true

I know your plate is full of things
That you'd not rather taste
And now as I review my words
I'm sure I spoke in haste

I know that when you love someone
They're pain is hard to face
I know that when you lose someone
That you cannot replace

It's hard to go and ask for help
'Cause people let you down
I know it's hard to tread the tide
When you think you will drown

So when you have to be the one
To make sure that it works
We do our best to keep at bay
The cruel and selfish jerks

Now please, don't take that last line wrong
I don't refer to you
It's just my fear that got to me
I took it out on you

I know that we cannot control
What other people do
I've always known you to be one
Who spoke what she thought true

I know it's better not to take
What you cannot pay back
I know that I should hold my tongue
And stave off an attack

That only hurts the person more
And makes me look the fool
I know that there is no excuse
For me to be so cruel

So I apologize to you
I'll try to make amends
Perhaps we can rebuild this now
I hope we will stay friends

I've worked so hard on self-esteem
Sometimes confused with pride
It sometimes gets the best of me
When I keep it inside

It clouds my vision, I forget
That you are human too
Your strength and generosity
I know that to be you

I'd like to blame it on my age
Or maybe menopause
But it the end there's no excuse
For me to bare my claws

So now. I hold an olive branch
That's really, what this is
Forgive me... and I am ashamed
You've been a good friend, Liz!

Author’s Note: I wrote a poem called No Surprises (©Copyright February 24, 2006) and sent it off to my Step-Mother and the rest of my family (brothers and Mother). I was advised to apologize... and after a bit of grumbling, I did. This is that apology. RAB: April 5, 2006