A MAELSTROM OF BILLS

A maelstrom of bills that
Come in the mail
Head butting of wills
That makes my heart flail

And flutter, and shudder
And sputter and spout
My fear is on fire
I can't put it out

It starts with a small thing
A foot from the bed
First, you stub your toe
Then I bang my head

The start of an engine
The ring of the clock
I've been oversleeping
And now I'm in shock

The looming of thunder
Is clouding my view
Before, there was order
But that is all through

The domino theory
has come in to play
Got out on the wrong side –
And I know right away

That I should have stayed
Safely tucked in the womb
And finished the dream
'stead of leaving this room

Instead of attempting
To push through my day
A maelstrom of clutter
I'm in my own way

I grab a banana
That's overly ripe
I curse to myself
I mumble and gripe

The breakfast of champions
But my mental health
Is starving me slowly
with cunning and stealth -

I strive for perfection
Instead of progress
I run to my closet
And try on a dress

That isn't my color
And feels a bit tight
And then my mind wanders
On back to our fight

Which I've been ignoring
While you ignore me
A maelstrom so quiet
I think you'd agree

That we need to take
A step back and relax
And put down the hatchet
The gun and the axe

I think of those days
When the opposite's true
My fear leaves me frozen
I'd like to blame you

But you'd never let me
Besides, I'm too smart
I know I'm the one who's
In charge of my heart

And nobody hears it
The way that you do
But you aren't ready
So I answer to......

A look that is silent
And deadly - but true
I know you can see me
See all the way through

When we are connected
The currents just flow
The breeze makes me giggle
The blaze makes me glow

I choose lighter colors
To show off my tan
A male so seductive
Although you're a man

Whose path has been altered.
A maelstrom of clues
Are scattered about me
But still I refuse

To listen to others
Or even to you
You say you want nothing
And maybe it's true

That when we get closer
The current gets brisk
No stranger to danger
So why take the risk

That type of exposure
Can leave one for dead
And drowned in the process
If over the head

I try to recover
An earlier mood
The more that I jabber
The more that you brood

I offer a peace pipe
You say "what a joke"
You don't have tobacco
Besides I don't smoke

And then you remind me
Of objects I've brought
You tell me "They're bait"
And you will not be caught

Not in my agenda
You speak in that tone
And all I have given
I should take it home

To think of answer
I have to pull back
Until I am sure, I'm not
Under attack

Semantics are tricky
I hate the royal we
You use the royal you
But I know you mean me

A maelstrom of metaphors
Flow through my head
I brush them aside
I will tell you instead

In words that are plain
With Times Roman the case
In black print on white sheet
So you cannot erase

This maelstrom of love
I have growing for you
Though once it receded
It's not something new

But if you won't join me
We'll never begin
And then there's no middle
And what will you win

A world that is empty
And metaphor free
And not meant for people
Like you or like me

Who understand music
Was meant for the heart
Who understand "literal"
Is only a part

Of the world where there's
Color and rainbows appear
Who understand faith
Quells that maelstrom of fear

And so my conclusion,
Not metaphor free
Don't ever expect that
From someone like me

I think that this life force
Was meant to be shared.
And no one who's living
Was meant to be spared

From feeling the climax
Embracing the lull
For me it's too Spock-like
At times just plain, dull

And though I will never
Advocate pain
To live in a vacuum
Is worse than the same

So I sit here typing
You're too big to shove
I can't push you into
An ocean of love

Immovable object?
Irresistible force?
I start to short circuit
Attraction of course

Is what I resort to
I'm too old to fight
I dream of the day
When you join me in flight.

Submitted for the July 2005 IWVPA Club Theme Project, Maelstrom