Robin Amy Bass

I AM THE EGG MAN, YOU ARE THE WALRUS

If I become you, then who will make the rice?
I’m a better microwaver, so please take my advice
You can’t walk in heels, or fit into my dress
You would hate my housekeeping… Sometimes I’m a mess

Besides – I have stopped smoking… for almost 20 years
And if you had to give that up you know you’d be in tears
I recall you saying – you are your worst enemy
In that respect it might work out… You are just like me

Well – I would be taller; you are six foot two
I could strike a model’s pose – at last – look down on you
Finally – I could write tunes – yes I would sing the blues
But where in heaven would you wear 500 pairs of shoes?

You would have to sell things – something you would despise
I would have that scary look – cold steel Marine blue eyes
Though I have my issues – most of them I will keep
I am too impulsive; you look before you leap

You would have to scratch me – if I had an itch
You would never do it – you won’t make the switch
(But you do get cranky; you’d make a great bitch!)
I guess with every fantasy – there seems to be a hitch

You might like my money but you would get the chills
You might have a heart attack when you saw my bills
So I thinks it’s better it remains a dream
If we made the switch – I’m sure – You would hear a scream

Somewhere on the East Coast; think it came from Queens
And somewhere in Jersey there’s a rise of steam
We just saw two lunatics playing switcheroo
There’s a girl beside herself, trying to be you
(Even worse, a tall Marine is acting like a Jew)

Some things get old real fast… Even when they’re new
But for a moment it was fun to tell you what to do